Saturday, January 31, 2009

Visiting Wompville But Don't Wanna Live Here

Okay, if I can't boohoo on my blog, where can I do it? I have been really struggling with the detrimental effects that my last pregnancy had on my body. It has been almost three years now, and I just don't know how to deal with this body that I have been left with. My hip/pelvic girdle/SI joint are unstable and I have a host of problems because of this, including hip bursitis, periodic painful tingling down my leg, and sometimes sudden-drop-me-to-my-knees pain. After I had Jack, I ran, did personal training, and taught aerobics. Same with Claire.

Now, after Brooke, I am limited to mall walking with senior citizens; I was shocked to discover that just walking will also flare up the bursitis and make my SI joint slip out of place.

I think one of the saddest things is how it also limits me with the children. Tennis is out. Jumping rope is out. Playing tag/soccer/"Mother May I?" are out. Skiing in Colorado? Out. (the last time we went I was pregnant and so I did not get to ski and we made a plan to go back when Brooke is 4) Giving Brookie piggy back rides? Out. Okay sometimes I still do those, but I really shouldn't. Frankly, if I was doing what was good for me, I also would not pick Brooke up and hold her while I am standing.

Ever working in my field of study again? Out. As my sister Nat would say, "This womps".

Okay, now here comes the Holy Spirit to convict me. A: I have three wonderful children, and was Brookie worth the sacrifice? Absolutely! B: I can still walk without a walker or a cane and I am not confined to a wheelchair C: I should give thanks no matter the circumstance because God has a good and perfect plan for me.

That is good to remember.

No comments: